For many years, I’ve had various dreams and things I’ve wanted to accomplish. As each day goes on, the more it seems that they’ll never happen.
It doesn’t seem that I’m asking for a lot, just to for once in my life be happy. To know what it’s like to be in the arms of a man. To know what it’s like to have a man love you. You watch the shows, you dream of what it would be like…would feel like.
But since I’m not replacing my door every 5 minutes, all I’m going to have are those dreams.
At the same time, I wouldn’t know what to do with a guy. He’d have to be willing to take on a project. Patient trying to teach someone who after all these years should know at least something.
It seems like I’m constantly in a dream world…even though I talk better in writing, I often need to “talk” to I imagine that I have him there to talk to. To share what’s on my mind and heart. When I need a hug what it would feel like to be in his arms. When I want to cuddle in bed what it would be like to fall asleep in his arms.
I don’t know, maybe one day I’ll find out what it’s like or I might just end up at a point where I totally lose my mind and never know what is real and what isn’t any more. Sometimes now it’s hard…I often sit there and slip into this dream world and have to “shake” myself out.
Maybe that’s my problem, why no one wants to be that special someone. They can see that I am crazy and it’s what’s keeping them away.
